A recent survey shows secret romances costs an average of $2,664 over six months. The reason is simple: unlike your wife or your girlfriend, you have to really impress a secret lover who has other options.
According to a recent survey, the average affair lasts six months and costs $444 a month, or $2,664 in total. The survey, conducted by a British retail company researching American spending habits, broke down the expenses incurred in a typical fling, such as hotel bills ($123), dinner and drink tabs ($162), gifts ($54), and date activities (movie tickets, $69, and “other,” $36.)
But experts say the cost of having an affair is actually higher. Much higher. “Secret cell phones, airline tickets, secret credit cards, hotel rooms—the costs can be astronomical,” said Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Santa Monica, California. “I know a woman and her lover who would book a hotel room to the tune of $2,500 a week. And keeping a mistress in an apartment—that can run in the hundreds of thousands.”Durvasula cautions spouses to look for signs that their husband (or wife) is straying. “It’s not that hard to tell,” she insists. “You don’t have to be freakin’ Magnum P.I.” Surprisingly, experts say the partner who strayed usually suffers the most emotionally after he or she is caught.
“As a woman, I didn’t have to put any money out, but still, the cost to me was incalculable,” said Sheila Hageman, 43, a married writer and mother of three from Stratford, Connecticut. “All the lying, the guilt, knowing I hurt someone I really loved—and still do love—I have to live with that the rest of my life.”
“The cheating had nothing to do with him and with our relationship,” she continued. “It had to do with the pain I was in. I was looking to feel loved, to feel valuable. In the process I threw myself away.”