Candid: Beyonce, seen arriving for Super Bowl rehearsals earlier this week, has opened up about her miscarriage.
'About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time,' she says in a preview. 'And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.''I picked out names,' she recalls. 'I envisioned what my child would look like.. I was feeling very maternal.'
She lost the child in the early stages of her pregnancy. 'I flew back to New York to get my check up - and no heartbeat,' she says. 'Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.' The star, who married Jay-Z in April 2008, turned to music to help her get through her pain.
Opening up: The singer spoke about her loss in her upcoming HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream
Behind the scenes: The star allowed cameras to film her away from the spotlight
'I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life,' she says, but doesn't name the track. 'And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. 'And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through.'
OUR BABY HEARTACHE AND JOY
Jay-Z first revealed Beyonce suffered a miscarriage in his track Glory, which he wrote after the birth of Blue Ivy in January 2012. The lyrics included: 'Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you'd disappear/But nah baby you magic'
'There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone.' In one scene, she confides: 'I felt the baby kick for the first time. Kicked five times.' After cautiously keeping the pregnancy a secret, she finally revealed her bump in spectacular fashion at the MTV Video Music Awards in August 2011.
She famously rubbed her tummy during a performance of Love On Top and it went on to become the most-tweeted moments of the year. She later faced rumours she was wearing a fake bump and using a gestational surrogate. 'A stupid rumour, the most ridiculous rumor I've ever had about me,' she says. 'To think that I would be that vain...'
A reason to celebrate: Beyonce showing off her bump while pregnant with Blue Ivy
'Overjoyed': A scan of their daughter, who is now one
In a previous clip, she says: 'People see celebrities and they have money and fame, but I'm a human being.' 'I cry, I get scared, I get nervous just like everyone else.'She shares tender and very candid moments from her pregnancy with Blue Ivy, showing her bare pregnant belly and even a sonogram of her unborn daughter.
Our girl: The couple with their daughter in September.
She described herself as a 'perfectionist' and said she wasn't able to properly rehearse with the orchestra before the event. She opened the press conference in New Orleans with a live rendition of the national anthem. She asked those at the conference to stand before she belted The Star Spangled Banner, and after she said with a laugh: 'Any questions?'
Facing the press for the first time since the controversy, she said: I practice until my feet bleed and I did not have time to rehearse with the orchestra. 'Due to no proper sound check, I did not feel comfortable taking a risk. It was about the president and the inauguration, and I wanted to make him and my country proud, so I decided to sing along with my pre-recorded track, which is very common in the music industry. And I'm very proud of my performance.' She said she would be performing live at the Super Bowl this weekend.
Power couple: Jay-Z and Beyonce at President Barack Obama's inauguration earlier this month. The star later sparked controversy for 'lip-synching' the national anthem.
There has been plenty of speculation about her upcoming performance, including reports there would be a Destiny's Child reunion with Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland.(Williams has shot down such speculation). Some are also curious about whether her husband, Jay-Z, will join her onstage, as they often do for each other's shows. Beyonce has teased photos and video of herself preparing for the show, which will perhaps be the biggest audience of her career.
Last year, Madonna's halftime performance was the most-watched Super Bowl halftime performance ever, with an average of 114 million viewers. It garnered more viewers than the game itself, which was the most-watched U.S. TV event in history.