Before I proceed, I will start by saying I’m Yoruba by marriage, so excuse my judgement of my own tribe. I think the Yoruba tribe is the worst tribe in the whole of Nigeria, if not the whole of Africa. You know, because Yorubas are manipulative and evilpeople, the best people who can verify this for me are unfortunately dead. People like Obafemi Awolowo and M.K.O Abiola.
Yorubas are so damn condescending asides a few who have been touched by God. Heard a rumour sometime ago that IBB said the people who asked him to annul the 1993 elections are Yorubas.
You’re not convinced yet right? Yes?
At the beginning of the Civil war, the whole point of the war was for Yorubas and the Igbo’s to fight for their independence from Nigeria but unfortunately, the Yoruba’s didn’t keep their own end of the bargain due to so many reasons, now that is in the political spheres.
Have you noticed how a Yoruba person will describe a company full of other ethnic tribe, be it Hausa or Igbos, very rude. Yorubas also believe that Igbos wake their father up in the morning by kicking their fathers on the bed. I thought this last one was funny only for me to try to verify the story from another Igbo person, need I say that his response wasn’t very strong to prove to me that the statement is false. Well, the person just argued that there isn’t a standard ‘Good morning’ greeting in Igbo. Feel free to disagree and state it in the comment-box.
Do not be shocked about the lifestyle of Yorubas, they are even prejudiced against one another. A Yoruba will always try to differentiate state of Origin, even almost insulting another Yoruba man from another side of town. Take for instance Ijebu people will insult Ibadan people that
“Omo Ibadan ti ko jale, oju lonro” which can be translated to
“An Ibadan person that doesn’t steal is merely trying very hard to kill the urge to steal”.
The point of this post today is about dating and marriage for a Yoruba man, Its unbelievable what a young Yoruba man goes through when he’s about to marry. The lady has to scale different hurdles.
For the records, people say Igbo weddings are expensive due to the amount of the bride-price but i disagree, Yoruba weddings are more expensive, when you take into consideration, the elaborate ‘owanbe’ that we do. If you go for a big Yoruba wedding, you will see all sorts of Ankara, geles, different caterers and many other distractions. An ideal Yoruba wedding is supposed to last for 3 days. The first day is for introduction, the second day for engagement while the last day a Saturday is for the white wedding and reception.Ideally, it starts on Thursday and ends on Sunday with a thanksgiving service.
The first huddle is that she must be Yoruba, She mustn’t be Igbo, Hausa, Japanese, Puerto Rican or whichever nationality that isn’t Nigerian. If your folks don’t mind, you need to thank your stars or yira (Roll on the altar in church). If you have parents that are firmly against that you might need to elope with her and come back in 5 years, hoping they will forgive you when they see the family you’ve created. That trick works all the time. By the time you’re back in 5 years, everything will be back to normal, and pray they don’t die before that time. I think this first huddle is pretty much for every tribe in Nigeria.
The second huddle you have to cross if she isn’t a foreigner is if she’s Igbo or Hausa. The much about Hausa is that it is even difficult for you them as well to release their daughter to a man from another tribe. So, marrying an hausa lady is headache from both sides. The Igbo folks however don’t mind as far as you can take care of her which the first on the list is her bride price. The reason for the obscene amount of money paid for bride price is beyond me. Why is it so freaking expensive? I know of a lady that her father collected N1.5 million for her bride price and that was years ago. Someone once told me, it was because they calculate how much they’ve spent taking care of her since she was a baby and all, but i don’t wanna believe any of this is true because one of the best part of the Yoruba tribe is that you’ve given back the money you paid as bride price. Sweet, isn’t it?
The unfortunate third huddle is her place of origin, now she’s a Yoruba lady, things are supposed to be cool now, isn’t it? No, they’re not. It gets harder for guys who come from Osun/Oyo/Ondo state. The thought of you running the idea that your girlfriend is from Ogun state is tantamount to giving your Yoruba mother a heart attack.
I’m from Osun state, so one day I decided to tickle my mum with the idea that i might marry an Ijebu girl. Brethren, as always she was against the idea. I ran alot of things by her that she doesn’t even stay in Nigeria that she has lived abroad all of life. I dared to ask her to give me examples of marriages that failed due to ethnic difference.
People of God, my mother been a comedian, mentioned about 7 different marriages, 4 of which i know very well. I wanted to argue with her but i couldn’t argue much, the woman was giving me fact and very direct answers.I thought it was only Ogun state people that had that issue, my mum delved into Lagosians as well, Awori people, Lagos Island people, Ikorodu people. From her explanation, the Lagos Island and the Ijebu people have extravagance in common. So, I asked my mum, where can i marry from exactly, her response.
Marry whoever you like just make sure they are not from those places i have been telling about since you were 5 years old.
Political answer isn’t it?
That should be all the huddles right? Nope, there is another. Okay, you’ve searched everywhere possible, screened all the screenables, then you finally find one neutral, good, nice and adorable cutie, then you need to dig into her life, not so much. Then you find out she has a child, that one can actually be overlooked but not many Yoruba folks can overlook that part. Who cares if she has a kid or not, all that matters is you love her right? But wait till she gives you an explanation about how 15 years down the line it will become a problem..looool
I’m only writing all of this because I know someone who wants to marry out of his tribe and I have been a witness to the running around from uncle to uncle’s house, his dad, calling his dad’s friends to talk to his dad, spending the whole day with his mum to convince how good a girl she is. The hustle in getting married at times is so crazy. I have met couples who are inter-tribe married, Igbo to Yoruba, Hausas to Yorubas, Igbo to Hausa, and they’re really happy.
Tribe shouldn’t separate people who ‘truly’ love each other and really want to be married, if you parent don’t support the marriage, elope and be happy together but whatever you do, don’t get a divorce because by then you’ll be proving them right.